Moving celebrities is like Fight Club. Not the part about punching each other - the part about the rules. You don't talk about it. No selfies, no peeking around the house, no ‘I’m a big fan!'. Just be normal, friendly, helpful, get the job done, thank you London and goodnight.
Well that's the theory.
But when I started in 2006, I got caught off-guard. The job was booked anonymously by their manager. Parked the van next to a nice Porsche, knocked on the front door and my heart sank as a very well known 90's-00's rockstar opened it. Not one of the sulky Manc brothers or their mockney rivals, but the singer of probably the 4th biggest band of that time. In his gravelly Welsh drawl he said ‘Hey, come on in.’ (A not-so-subtle clue there.)
Oh the envy, bitterness, and shame... I'd just come out of a music career and although I'd done pretty well, I felt I'd not reached my potential. Worse, I'd bumped into him at shows and parties. And worst of all, he'd recently had a number one single.
Naturally I hoped he'd be arrogant, petulant and rude so I could say to myself ‘Well at least I didn't end up like THAT guy…', but he was friendly and cheerful. Well, until he asked where the 2nd loader was, and I said they only booked me...
'Oh, right’, he said, clearly a bit annoyed.
‘Here we go, incoming tantrum...' I thought.
But no. ‘Ok, no problem’, he said, ‘Let's do it.’
Like the Keanu Reeves of rockstars, he showed me what was moving then grabbed some boxes and started loading up with me.
Look, I tried not to mention it. We worked and chatted for at least 20 minutes but then I couldn't help myself. Oh no. Here it comes. Blurting out of my mouth even as my brain was telling me to stop...
'I was in music until recently actually'.
Eughh. You'd think he'd be like, ‘Yeah cool, grab the sofa boyo', but he seemed genuinely interested. Told him I was a Warners writer doing pop stuff but was always in bands - he said his keyboard player did the same, it's an interesting but tough gig, how it must be hard to write songs when you've only just met the artist, asked me how that was...
(Yes, the guy who sold 15 million records and a number 1 single is asking his removal guy how to write songs. Ok.)
So anyway we went to the drop, finished the job, he even made coffee. The only rockstar thing he did was ask if he needed to pay me. Fair enough though, he didn't book it. We shook hands, he zoomed off in his Porsche.
That's it. Sorry to disappoint, but rockstars can be normal, nice people too.
Looking back, I should have ironically suggested that we throw his TV out of the window, rather than walk it down the stairs.
The opportunities we miss when we're not open to them huh?
Oh well, maybe when we move Liam or Ozzy. I'll tell you in another 20 years...
